In life we find ourselves constantly
evolving. Moving forward, making changes,
and living life. Sometimes, I find it
difficult to let go. I try to hold on to
my past I don’t know why but maybe because it’s what’s comfortable. Change has always frightened me. Most people don’t know that because I have
changed many things about my life many times.
I moved 2,000 miles away from all I knew. I have picked up the pieces and pushed
forward. There is a difference between
picking up the pieces and dealing with things.
It took me 27 years to figure out sweeping things under the rug doesn’t
get rid of it. In fact it causes more of
a mess down the road. Harboring all of your emotions because you want to be
“tough” is like taking a small dose of poison.
You will eventually have to deal with things and most of the time the
damage is done. All you can do is ask
for forgiveness especially from yourself.
I believe there is a difference
between being tough and being strong.
Being tough is about how far you can take a beating whether physical or
mental. You take the abuse and never
fire until you explode. You think asking
for help or showing emotion is a sign of weakness. You must be tough in every aspect because you
believe if you show your softer side people will take advantage. They will exploit you and then you secrets
out. So you have a hardened shell and
refuse to feel any emotion. Showing you
have emotions mean you can get a broken heart.
A broken heart means pain and pain is something you would rather live
without.
Being strong is having the courage
to show people your softer side. When
you take a beating you stand up for yourself and be true. You know your weaknesses and are constantly
working on them. You know people can and
most likely will take advantage of your vulnerability but that doesn’t stop you
from showing it. Being strong is showing
yourself and others that you feel. You
are not afraid of a broken heart because at least you put your emotions into
something.
It took me 27 years to realize only
you can tear down the walls you have created (or break your hardened shell). You cannot expect someone else to do it for
you. If you want to find someone to
spend the rest of your life with the worst thing you can do is be guarded. Chances are you’ve had someone in your life
that stuck by you and tried so desperately to climb those walls. But, after so many failed attempts they gave
up and moved on. Now, you finally have
to deal with all you swept under the rug.
I think it happens to all of us. But
the difference is the strong person doesn’t let it happen again.
When you open up your relationships
in your life get stronger. Not just your
romantic relationship but all of them (friends and family etc.). You’re not as afraid
and you are ready for whatever life throws your way. It’s hard to explain but once you begin to
make changes to be more open it feels like you are traveling to a foreign
country alone. It’s very out of your
element and scary. Don’t run back to
comfortable stick with it and you’ll begin feel better and more honest about
who you really are. You are showing the
world the real you and after awhile you don’t give a crap what others think of
you. At least you are being honest with
yourself and others.
You cannot change your past you can only learn from
it. So, don’t forget about it just live
in the present. Remember Change is
vital. Sure it’s scary but believe it or
not YOU have the strength deep inside to get through anything.
