Life lessons:)

     I'm going to be another year older so it's only natural for me to reflect.

What have I learned so far? Here it goes:

*The person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with you probably won't.

*Life isn't fair and it can suck. But never give up because the reward makes all the less than fair float away

*There is always going to be someone better than you, so be the best with what you got.

*Most people don't do the right thing especially when it's difficult.

*Beauty is literally from the inside out. You find when someone has a beautiful soul they have this inner light that makes them more beautiful on the outside.

*Not everyone has the same morals and code of ethics. Don't bend yours they make you who you are.

*Your heart is stronger than you think. You can break a bone but you cannot break your heart! Someone can make your heart hurt but, its not broken. It will heal in time.

*Sleep isn't overrated. You need it especially if you want to have friends.

*When someone does something nice a simple thank you isn't a suggestion.

*Don't settle because of fear. That's not living life to your full potential.

*Stepping on people to get ahead never turns out the way you want. You will find yourself alone with remorse.

*Before taking criticism first determine whom it is coming from.  Some people just are mean to be mean.  Others actually care and want to help.

*Fighting with crazy people and stupid people is pointless they are never going to get it. However, sometimes it can be a little hilarious.

*Your heart knows how you feel before you do.

*Everyone has their own Jiminy Cricket the smart people listen to it the dumb people stifle it.

*Find what matters most to you and let go of things that don’t.  You will see you have a lot more free time and you smile more.

*Which brings me to my next point.  Wrinkles around your eyes and mouth are a sign of a happy life.  So keep smiling.

*The minute all women realize everyone has cellulite the better we will all feel in a bathing suit.

*As you grow you will understand that life is about quality not quantity.

*Don’t sacrifice who you are for anyone or anything. Once you do the world gets a little dimmer.

*Glitter isn’t gaudy it’s fabulous

*When you find the people that matter most to you don’t let them go.  Unless you have a restraining order then it’s time to give up.

*Cake is to women as beer is to men.  Good in moderation for their waistline.

*Cupcake is portable cake with less guilt. Light beer watered down beer with less fat.

*If you ask someone who is genuinely happy what their secret is they say exercise and finding the love of their life.  The real answer they are wanting to say is “frequent dance parties”

*Everyone is going to go through things in their lives.  It’s not the challenges that make the man it’s how they act during them that do.

*Actions speak louder than words.

Caring what people think is pointless because they are simply caring what you are thinking of them.  So nobody is thinking about anyone else but himself or herself in someone else's eyes.

*When you are wrong apologize and ask for forgiveness. If you don’t get it you tried to make it right.

*Help others see their potential what they do with it is up to them.

*BUT MOST OF ALL: Be kind to one another. Hug longer kiss, laugh, if you love someone tell them before its too late, say goodbye to the ones that have moved on, don’t hold anger, forgive those who seek it, and congratulate those who find the one even if its not you.  Life will work out. You cannot see it now but the reason is in the future.  Look forward to that but don’t miss the adventure that is right in front of you.  Because before you know it you are another year older. 

Life With Purpose.

The more I sit and wonder what life is all about I a seem get more questions than answers. Is this it? Am I doing it right? Am I following the correct path? It can be so overwhelming and frustrating to think about it.

The only people who have the right answers to any of my questions have passed on and can no longer give them to us. I also think no two lives are the same. So there answers would have no relevance to your questions. But, they could give you some good advice I am sure.   We are all unique in our own special way. How I perceive the value of life is going to be different than anyone else.  It doesn't make my definition any more correct than the next persons. I am so simple I'm complicated. I find the things I value most have no true price. It's about the small gestures for me at least.

The value of life for me is constantly reminding myself "it's okay let God take you where you need to go". It's as I said so simple it's complicated. Knowing your life has a purpose is the number one thing!! You matter because you were created!! The lives you touch and the interactions you have are a part of an even bigger purpose. It's okay to not know what your purpose is but, don't give up on it. One day someone will point it out to you and you will have your AHA moment. 

One life can't be summed up in a word or a smile or a net worth. It's a life.

My life is defined by the following: my friends and family, the mistakes I've made, what I've learned from them, the pain I've caused, the pain I've felt, the forgiveness I seek and have been granted, the love I give and receive, whether or not I have a good heart(I try to have a good heart in all I do), loyalty, doing the right thing even if it's not the popular thing, being a child of God  and never giving up on my purpose.

I am a fighter and am a driven little Italian. I am extremely stubborn but, I would give you the shirt off of my back if you need it.I have made my mistakes and am a better woman because of them. I know how precious a life is. I understand to not take it for granted. You only have on life. That's it no do over. 

I hate asking for help. The main person I ask for help is my silent partner upstairs! I trust him and any path he sends me on. There is a reason to his rhymes. Knowing this I take life as a marathon not a sprint. It will all work out how it's supposed to and that might not be the way you thought it was supposed to go. But, we don't see the whole picture. Find the things you find important that define your life and live it. Once you figure out those things you should have an idea on what your purpose is. If not don't worry because you my dear have a purpose! Your life has meaning. Your life is precious.  Just remember trust that God has you covered. He does:)

Not just for one day but everyday!

Someone once asked me "Do you not believe in love? Is that why you hate Valentines day?" I'm sure I said something witty had a giggle and went on my way. Boy, I wish I would have told them this which is the truth. No(person who will remain nameless), I do believe in love and that is why I hate Valentines Day. Hey don't get me wrong I love candy just as much as the next person. Maybe even more if its possible. But, I like my candy all year round. Not just once a year! So I guess I like my love like I love my candy not in a huge binge once a year but, rather even doses all year round.

I mean the question that was posed was so ridiculous. I mean how can you not believe in something that you see and feel on a daily basis from the people you surround yourself with? How many songs are about falling in love? Or falling out of love, missing the ones you love and even dreaming about an old love? Seems crazy not to believe such a thing exists. Love comes in all forms and it hits you in unexpected ways. Everyone experiences love. They give and they receive. The definition of love in the dictionary is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for anotherperson. My personal definition however, is slightly different. Love: is going above and beyond expecting nothing in return. It is an emotion in which if you do not express it you will virtually explode or go emotionally insane. To love means never to judge, to hold someone up when they find the weight of the world on their shoulders because you feel that weight too and you are compelled to make the other person at ease while you take on their burden. Finally to love is to hold people close to your heart and forever in your thoughts.

I hope your starting to grasp why Valentines day doesn't mean anything to me. I choose not to enjoy this one day devoted to love because I love everyday! I tell my Family, my friends (who are family) and those I truly care about how much they mean to me. Not because once a year Feb 14th comes around and you are pressured to express your emotions in the heat of the day with fear of no cards in your mailbox or flower deliveries or sitting alone at a table set for two.

I choose to love 365 days a year not just one day. It is vitally important not only love other people but to love yourself as well. This world gets really hard sometimes and you can be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel lonely or not loved. Don't even think for a second you don't mean anything to someone. Because you do! It can just be difficult to see through the fog. So promise me you will open your eyes a little wider and your heart a little more and you will begin to see the love the world has for you..............

You, my dear are loved.

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I find it rather ironic that we go to college to get an education. We make it through college(some of us barely, some with no problem at all) with a degree in something that you intend on doing for the rest of your life. For some people the first few years of college are used as a test run. Trying to figure out what they want to do or which path to choose. I on the other hand was fortunate to know exactly what i wanted to do. But, just because you get a degree and walk across that stage gripping your diploma doesn't mean the hard times are over. In fact, on the contrary the hard times have just begun.

I'm not saying that people don't have it hard in college. I sure did. Through out my entire college career i was challenged. I was challenged emotionally, physically and mentally. Being told you cant do something by someone with "power" doesn't mean you have to quit. If i quit after ever single time i was told "your not good enough, you are just a pretty girl with no brain, and my (personal favorite) you are not strong enough health wise." God knows what i would be doing. Yeah so what I'm not good in math or science I've got the grades to prove it. But, that doesn't mean i didn't bust my ass to do it. That doesn't mean I ran away from that challenge. I made myself stronger, smarter and tougher. So when I graduated I thought that whole "proving myself" was over. I made it, diploma in hand Inducted in the Honors Theatre Fraternity with my heart set on heading west. Boy was I wrong.

I for a mere couple of months thought it was just me having a problem finding an acting job or a job outside of retail. A job in journalism or communications. Sadly it's not just me. It's all of us. Our economy sucks and unless you have made it huge you are barely scrapping by. We graduated at the worst possible time. Now, it's not just the professors saying you can do something it's the job market. It's every interview you go on. Its the economy. This is our time. This is our time to live within or means. To work harder than ever before to prove we deserve our paycheck. There is no instant gratification and no million dollar bills flying around like in a music video there is our reality.

What I am trying to say is Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. You bust your ass put your nose to the grindstone and work. Our generation shouldn't just expect things to be handed to us. We have to work! So prove it to others because deep inside you know you are Extraordinary!

Dream A Little Dream of Me

I am someone who dreams every night and day dreams as well. And rarely when i wake up in the morning am I truly affected by what I had dreamt. This dream obviously affected me I had to sit down and write it and in a matter of speaking dissect it. I am a very strong person emotionally. I do not let my emotions get in the way of basically anything. I deal with them differently and privately and mostly through my writing. Sometimes I have trouble verbalizing myself but, when I sit down pen in hand my emotions pour out like faucet. I also am someone who is very comfortable being alone. I used to be afraid of being alone. That was one of my greatest fears to end up alone. So I decided to face that fear head on and just be single for awhile and warm up the the idea . I thought that if I did that I wouldn't choose the wrong man to settle down with (if that opportunity presents itself) because of the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Silly I know. But, it just me. Now I am completely comfortable being single and being a table of one. OK back to this dream

In my dream I had this man who was the love of my life. I was so happy, I held his hand and kissed him and never wanted to let him go. I needed him by my side in order to feel complete. This was strange to me because I haven't felt like that about someone in a very long time and I surly never have been one to display pda. But, with this man my guard was down. I was vulnerable and I didn't care. I was open to love and gave him everything my heart had. I was so happy and he was so happy. Then he went into the World Trade Center and at that moment I knew what was going to happen. I ran toward the building knowing that the plane was going to strike. I had to be with him. My life wouldn't make sense without him. And at the end I lost him. I lost the love of my life. But, I searched and tried to get to him and didn't run away.

In the dream I wasn't upset that I let my guard down and was open to love because, at least I got to love someone and be loved by someone if just for a little while. My heart was broken but still full of the memories I had.

So I figure it's time for me to be open to the opportunity that there is someone out there that is going to love me fore me and allow me to be vulnerable without using that against me. Because "It is better to have loved and lost then to never loved at all." I just found it weird that a dream had to wake me up to the idea of LOVE.

The Waiting Room Of Life......

People ask me all the time about the choices I make and the way my life is going. I pretend like I have all the answers. For If I look like I have any doubts I'm afraid that people will start to doubt me. So here goes.....

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the waiting room of life. A little lost just waiting to find my own direction. It's tough because you are unsure of which path to take. What if you choose the wrong one? What if you waste your time going down something you felt was the right path? It just gets frustrating when you go down these paths alone. You have to muster up the courage to not give up and keep going and remind yourself why you are doing this.

There are days when I do want to quit and go to something more familiar. Go do something "normal" with my life. Go out, meet someone, get married, have my white picket fence and three kids and a dog playing in the yard. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that lifestyle I think its wonderful. And part of me wants a snipped of that "normalcy" but, which part do I want? I know I want the family part. It's what's most appealing to me. I want someday to have a house filled with noise, laughter and all be it chaos. I want a close knit family.

But, I myself want to lead by example. To show my children if you have a dream, desire and down right need you must follow it. Even if it goes against what society might coin as "Normal". If you are lucky enough to have figured out what you want to be when you grow up you better go for it. That desire better be just setting your heart on fire and make you crazy if you don't do it. Because without that passion, fire and drive you will surrender. You will give in and just take the easy rout. The art of just getting by. The are of existing and not really living. I want to show them that people are going to tell you "NO" or "You will never succeed, or do that" doesn't mean you have to listen. Unless it's the parents saying no to something completely immoral.

So, I guess if you find yourself in the waiting room of life just bursting at the seams make your presence known. Make the journey and waiting as fun and as educational as possible. For I have found in the waiting we receive humble patience. So when the opportunity of a path presents itself you will have humble courage and extreme desire to walk that path alone hand in hand with God.